Monday, December 17, 2012

Down, But Not Out

It's been over a week since Club XC's, and I think it's taken that long to (almost) fully digest my (disastrous) race. When a race doesn't go your way, it's always disappointing, but it's only a failure if you let it end you, otherwise, its' just another lesson learned along the journey to a better race. So after nearly a week, I've decided to not let this "end" me, but use it as yet another lesson-learned.
When you build yourself up to something for so long it's hard to let it go and move forward. Bad races are like gravity, they keep pulling you back even long after the race has been run. The phrasing "Let us kill the spirit of Gravity!" rings in my mind, and I try to convince myself to take it to heart as Zarathustra did (the fictional Zarathustra, not the prophet). Indeed, gravity must be killed in this sense. No one ever moves forward by looking back, you can learn where to go by looking back, but the act of moving forward must come with actually looking in the direction you wish to go, which is this case is (you've guessed it), forward.
When replaying the miles and steps in between the start and finish of the race, I'm still having difficulty putting my finger on exactly where I let go of my desire, but somewhere in the puddles of mud and hundreds of wild men in long spikes it fell out and got lost. The answers to bad races always seem to elude us until time has passed, and other races have been run, so in the mean time, I'll just chalk it up as a question mark and move on to the next challenge. The lesson will sink in when my mind is ready to absorb it.
Besides the race, the weekend itself was incredible. I feel proud to be a part of the best club team in the US, and surrounded by so many great runners and people. This was my first Club XC experience with BRC/Adidas, and it was a memorable one. With a variety of fun personalities, everyone fit like puzzle-pieces together to form an awesome team, one I'm truly honored to be a part of.
In an attempt to focus more on the positive or more fun memories of the weekend, I decided to come up with a highlight reel, which some things are explained, while others I'll leave un-explained, as they have now turned into some version of an inside joke or story to be told for years to come.

Highlights of the Weekend:

- Cutting your pizza tip-first is considered "weird"
- Driving down an "exit only" after circling Lexington for 20 minutes
                - Brianne persuading a cop to let the van in… Against traffic
                - Cassie's brush with the Lexington PD
- Sweatpants in public + collared shirt = The Old Man's Mullet
- Jay watching Japanese television
- The $7 sausage
- "Flossing your Nerves"
- Mattie & Brianne Dominate
- Men's & Women's teams Top 3
- "Wack! Wack! Wack!"
- Post-Race Levassiur : "My goal is to puke tonight"
- Tally of those who owe me gummie bears:  Cassie, Brianne
- Hotel room party
                - The Empty Fridge
                - DJ BJ
- Stella's got her groove back
- Dogs can count as children
- Whiplash on the dance floor
- Don't ever pack with a hangover
                -Fortunately, the Hyatt-Regency in Lexington has excellent customer service.
                (I received   the items I left neatly folded in the dresser drawer.)
- Hanging out at the Lexington airport. Enough said.

So now, onward into the cold, dark winter months. Back to running in the shadows, dreaming of better races and bigger results. I would've loved to sprint in through the mud with a great performance, but that'll have to be saved for another day, another race. The disappointment will wear off as the miles click by. "Come, let us kill the spirit of Gravity!"

It's only a failure if you let it end you.

No comments:

Post a Comment