Tales From a Reformed Headcase

APRIL FOOLS. Just joking about the "reformed" part.

Actually, I thought I had been doing a fantastic job the last few months reigning in the demons. Good workout? Bad workout? Great race? Horrible race? No problem! It's all the same, the world's still spinning and you'll live to run another day! No one even died as a result of your result! Dude it's chiiilllll.... All you can ever do is try! "Don't worry, be happy. It will soon pass, whatever it is," sings Bob Marley while smoking a joint. Well please pass that joint to me because I don't share your sentiments right now BOB.

It began with a bad 400 meter workout. This was followed by the abrupt realization that in one week I'm running my first track 5k in I don't want to think about how long. A ridiculously negative self-talk monologue rambled through my mind on a run:

"What if you run your entire 5k the way you ran those quarters the other day, you're going to get OWNED. Pansy."

"Oh hey, remember the Hams and Hamstrings 5k on Easter? Yeah, you BARELY broke 19 minutes. Remember that? A couple weeks ago? Who knows if it was even a 5k. Who cares that you ran across a median. Irrelevant. BARELY under 19 minutes. Remember that? You ran better in high school. Pansy."

"Hey speaking of hamstrings, how's that hamstring feeling anyway? Like it's going to explode off your ischial tuberosity? Yeah, it probably will. Pansy."

"Hey, check out your mile splits today. Have you even broken 8 minutes once this whole run? No? Pansy."

Aaand the downward spiral begins. I take off my watch and throw it in the bushes. I don't care that I've had it for 5 years! I'm sending it back to Timex because it HAS to be defective! I am not running that slow!!! There is NO way!!! Tantrum ensues. Ever seen a 2 year old in the cereal aisle pitching a fit to mom because he wants Fruity Pebbles and mom doesn't believe in sugary cereal? Yeah. Times that by about 50. The voice of Positive Polly is drowned out by Negative Nancy (that b***h...). Try as she might, petite Polly is overpowered by Nancy--who has the build of a roller-derby champ. But suddenly, like the eye in the hurricane, the overwhelming feeling of all-consuming guilt trumps all nervousness. The browbeating begins: You ungrateful booger! You cotton-headed-ninny-muggins! You jackwagon! You are SO lucky to do this! How dare you have an off-day! How dare you even be so consumed with something so self-serving and inconsequential! There are 7 billion people in this world who are in no way effected by how you run! This is an entirely selfish pursuit! You're a terrible human! What are you EVEN DOING?!!!

Oh crap. Here they come. There's no stopping them. Tears. I'm a pretty emotionally constipated person for lack of better phrasing (which probably accounts for a great deal of the reason why I have about 2 friends who are girls), but when I get all feelingsy and there are tears, there are OCEANS of them. It's actually sort of pathetic. Before I know it, it's not even about a bad run or an upcoming race. I mean, it started with that, then there was the guilt over even caring that much to begin with, and now all I can think about is the treatment of women and children in Africa and the Middle East, starvation, terminal disease, the Crucifixion, the current state of mental healthcare in the U.S., animal cruelty, and that needlessly mean customer last month who I had to be nice to anyway. For some reason much of this puts the whole running thing back into perspective, but now I'm in a total funk. And I don't know if you've ever tried bawling and running at the same time, but you actually start to asphyxiate a little, I don't suggest it.

Trust me, I know what you're thinking right now: you're thinking, "I thought I was the only one who did this!" Nope, fear not because you're in good company, I'm right there with you! Hopefully I'll have the mental trainwreck debris cleared away in a week. Payne-Train(wreck) OUT.

< Self-portrait.

PR's and Trials Qualifiers!

The Stanford Invite saw some outstanding performances as always. Ali Williams, Kristen Hemphill and Wendy Thomas all have their eyes towards the Trials now having earned the standard in their respective races. Kristen got the BRC/Adidas ball rolling Friday night in the steeplechase as she got a personal best by a second and a "B" standard with her 10:08. Next up, was Ali in the 5k, who knocked over 20 seconds off of her previous (and already fast) 5k PR to clock 15:24 and finish 4th overall in an talent-laden field. Wendy certainly didn't disappoint in her debut track 10k as she also had a ridiculous PR to run 32:47. Ali punched her ticket to the Olympic Trials with her "A" standard while Wendy was just barely off with her "B" standard that will likely be bettered as the season progresses. Look out Eugene!

Easter Sunday saw Colorado Springs host the Inaugural Hams and Hamstrings 5k, where fearless team leader Cody Hill took 2nd place among the men (and overall), while Shannon Payne won the women's race.

Cody Hill as a lithe, graceful little impala gliding across an urban serengeti en route to 2nd place and $100.

Springtime Racing Begins!

The USATF Colorado 5 mile Championships at the Boulder Reserviour saw massive fields on both the men's and women's side. Brianne Nelson stole the show for the women as she ran away with a victory in 28:12. On the men's side, Matt Levassiur took fourth among a highly competitive field in 25:27. Adam Rich followed in 26:09.

In Fort Collins, Kristen Hemphill got her track legs ready for a great spring as she took 2nd in the 1500 in 4:39 in ridiculously windy conditions.

So far so good! Next up for many is the Stanford Invite this weekend so stay tuned for great results! Keep up the good work.

March training month

Wow great month of training and looking forward to mount sac this month. I have been over 100 miles a week for the past 7 weeks and feeling great!(750 total miles in 7 weeks). I will complete another 120 miles this week as well.

Workouts have been really good as well , so it's a very good combo with the miles, workouts, and diabetes. 25x400m with 50 sec rest I avg. 68s with 2 hammers #20 & 24- 62,63

As for my diabetes control I'm doing really good my hard workouts push my body up to 200 to 220 so I have cool down for about 5 or 6 miles to be back to normal levels.

My nutrition and diabetes I have really experimented with it constantly. I eat a lot of smoothies- I have smoothies for pre easy 6 mile run, post workout, recovery, and my most importantly my BG is to high but I need to eat. Lots of bacon and eggs, fish and broccoli, and steel cut oats(with nutmeg, cherrys, almond milk) are my fav post workout meal!

And super pumped about win St. Pattys day run! I had some great competitors and I was so happy to get my first win since getting type 1 diabetes.

Thanks for reading

Keep it sweet but not with sugar!

March Madness

March Madness is in full swing, which means TV in recent weeks has been dominated by NCAA basketball. And sandwiched between the onslaught of exciting bracket-busting action there are NCAA commercials. Maybe you’ve seen them: soccer players juggling while playing violin, basketball players dribbling while carrying out chemical reactions, swimmers transforming into photographers while emerging from the water, tennis players donning work boots mid-swing. Each commercial is narrated with a version of the same line: “There are over 400,000 NCAA student-athletes, and almost all of us are going pro in something other than sports.” Count me among them. But that doesn’t mean I’m not still chasing my running dreams.

The best adjective I have to describe my life is “busy.” My current “something other than sports” occupation is as a PhD student in physiology, which means that I have a to-do list that is perpetually growing and there is no such thing as a “typical” day at work. When I’m not in the lab, I can likely be found eating, sleeping, or training. I have learned that flexibility is critical for my training to be effective. Though I don’t have a fixed time of day for my workouts, I do have a schedule of runs and strength training that I follow over a course of weeks and months. Sometimes the schedule has to be adjusted due to my work (spending all day on my feet doing experiments is not conducive to a good track workout) or the wonderfully-unpredictable Colorado weather (when the wind severe is enough to blow soccer goals over and onto the track I am forced to re-think those 400-meter repeats). But I have found that if I approach my training with a longer-term perspective, I am able to train at a high level while balancing my academic obligations.

Over the past several years, my running aspirations have transformed enormously. Upon completing my college career, I was less than satisfied, but ready just to run with no expectations. I did long, slow trail runs in the mountains and didn’t even think about getting near a track, let alone a race. Eventually, my competitive spirit re-surfaced, along with a desire to push my limits and discover my potential. And hence my graduate student-athlete lifestyle emerged. In choosing this lifestyle, I may be missing out on things like happy hour, watching TV, and pulling all-nighters. But I think it’s worth the sacrifice…

I may not be a professional athlete, but I am nevertheless incredibly thankful to be able to pursue my running ambitions post-collegiately (and thanks to BRC/adidas for the support!).  The past year has been marked with several amazing running moments, and I am excited to keep training and see what the next few years will bring.

Change of Direction

Lots of neato stuff going down.

So back when I got back from USA XC I wrote a bunch of stuff about how great it was to be "coaching" myself! Well...ignore all of that. A few weeks back I had the great opportunity to get to be a part of the American Distance Project that was started up here in Springs by Scott Simmons and Renato Canova last summer. I will admit that back when that got off of the ground RIGHT when I was leaving to go to the so-called Running Mecca of Boulder, I had to grit my teeth a little. I was like, "Crap. I can't believe it. We've never had a training group in Springs EVER and right when there is one I'm going somewhere else to find one. Go figure."

But stuff has a weird way of working out.

Lots and lots of changes...in some ways I feel like a freshman, being well behind Ali and Adrian in most runs, the freaky part of that is that my mileage is a lot higher than it was, but nowhere near their's, and nowhere near where it'll probably end up being, but thus far I am pleasantly surprised that after an initial freak-out phase where my mind was boggled from looking at the training schedule, it's not nearly as scary as I thought it would be. Ali has said to me more than once, "All you can do is try!" Which is true. Try something first, then freak out later if needed. Not only that but I've gotten to learn a gazillion things that I never would have really thought about doing on my own. No, on my own I really got pretty good at running about 60 miles a week and that was about it. In any case, I feel ridiculously fortunate, without any spectacular PR's to my credit, I know that there are not too many coaches and awesome groups like this that would take a chance on someone like me. I am SOSOSOSOSOSO thankful to have Scott's knowledge and guidance to point the way and a such a great group of honest, motivated people to emulate.

Running has a lot of "one-percenters". That's been the biggest thing I've figured out so far. I've learned a whole new slew of drills, figured out that bloodwork can actually be pretty relevant, and thanks to a recent visit to biomechanist guru Jay Dicharry last weekend in Virginia at UVA-Charlottesville along with Ryan Bananahands Hafer (who lived up to his namesake by consuming 5 bananas in a single day on the way home), I know a lot more about my (lots) of weaknesses and, more importantly, how to fix them.

As an aside here, Charlottesville is an awesome town. Besides Bananahands and I having to share living space in a hostel with a gentleman whom I am almost certain was a serial killer (although he claimed to be merely a government spy on a volunteer basis) it was a great trip!

So while the laundry list of running stuff seems ever-expanding, it's all good stuff and I'm really excited to see where things will be in a few weeks, a few months, and a ways down the road.

Payne Train OUT.

St.Patty's Day Weekend Results

A little late in coming, but some great results from last St.Patty's day from all BRC runners!

The Colorado Spring's St. Patty's Day 5k saw a lot of red and orange in the field as the men's side loaded up on BRC/Adidas boys. We're pretty darn proud of our Tommy "T-Bone" Neal as he established that he is officially on the up-and-up as he trounced a very competitive men's race to take the victory in 15:26. He was followed by Adam Rich in 2nd, not officially in the results due to a timing chip mishap. Sean Brown took 3rd. After that 1-2-3 punch, Cody Hill took 12th. Nice work gents.


Up north in Boulder, Jason Delaney, Ashley Luna, and Rachel Gioscia-Ryan took to the CU track as Rachel knocked out a 4:42 1500 to take 1st, while Ashley took 2nd in 4:50. Nice work ladies. On the men's side of the 1500, Jason took 4th in 4:04.

Across the country in New York, Wendy Thomas ran her first competitive race since the Trials, taking 23rd in the highly competitive NYC Half Marathon in 1:14.21 to get off to a solid start for the spring.

Gate River Run and Runnin' of the Green Results

Great result from the BRC ladies at Saturday's Gate River Run/U.S. 15k Championships! Finishing 2nd as a team to Team USA Minnesota by only 7 seconds, Ali led the way in 6th place with 51:38 and was followed by BRC/adi newcomer Brianne Nelson in 10th place in 52:50. Adrian took 20th in 54:51 to best her previous PR (from the same course) by two minutes and round out the scoring for BRC. GREAT race!!!

At Sunday's Running of the Green 7k in Denver, Greg took 7th overall on the hilly course in 22:43. Lori rebounded from injury to place 10th in 27:20.

Everyone keep up the good work!

Little Black Submarines

I survived! Fatigue February! Almost gobbled me up quite a few times, though I was able to get out alive, and thus stronger. First, I’ll admit that in December of 2011 I finally broke down and gave into all the hype: I bought the Black Keys latest album, “El Camino”. What I found was the hype was non-existent, as they’re the real deal, though this isn’t a album review, this is about how one song spoke to me.

Now, this time it didn’t come to me while meditating in a hot bath of Epson salt. I was actually out the door for a cold, and dark second run. Despite fatigue from running and working, the second run has somehow become something I look forward to daily. There’s something tranquil about clipping off a few miles under the cover of darkness, where the street lamps can barely catch your shadows. These second nightly runs became Reflection Time, and on this particular night, I was rationalizing what exactly I was doing to myself by running this much, and this far into a state of overall fatigue, when the lyrics “Everybody knows, a broken heart is blind” echoed through my mind over and over.

I reached the crest of Gillespie Hill and could see the lights of Boulder shining to the north of me, illuminating the Flatirons like paper silhouettes. It hit me. I had a broken heart. Rest assured, some little filly didn’t break my heart, I’m referring to running. For years you focus on something big. It takes up the majority of your thoughts, for some, it consumes them (I‘m sure for actual Olympians this is much more intense). Four+ years ago I watched the 2007 Olympic Marathon Trials in a basement while living in Manhattan, Kansas. I told myself I’d be on the starting line for the next Trials, before promptly hammering out 20miles just under 6 minute pace. I figured I was well on my way at the time. Though, when the gun sounded in Houston this January for the 2012 Trials, I wasn’t on the line.

“You know me, I had plans, but they just disappeared to the back of my mind”

In the fall-out of these “plans”, I had become blind in one perspective. I’ve gone at running with reckless abandon, blind of the consequences of such rigorous training, running for the sake of running, running to release. When I began to think about it, I’ve got friends, great athletes, who I generalize as “Oblivious Runners”. They run with reckless abandon. It doesn’t matter who’s in the race, or what the distance is, they approach it the simplest of ways: to Compete. They’re blind (I say this as a good thing). They’re definitely on to something, and ironically enough, most of them don’t even know it.

“Oh can it be, the voices calling me, the get lost, and out of time”

At the top of that hill I decided. There’s two ways to go. (Fortunately for me, at the top of Gillespie Hill, both ways go downhill), when your plans are squashed, which way do you go? Do you allow perceived failure (failure is a perspective) to stop you? Or do you find another way? You either Quit or you Go Back At It Harder And Smarter Than Before.

Dreams may “disappear" to the back of your mind, but they’re still in your mind. So you’re either cursed to play the “What If” game or you confront it head on and find out what you’re really made of. Granted, I was at the top of the hill when the combination of Boulders lights, the Flatirons, and The Black Keys spoke to me in a fiery echo of the song “Little Black Submarines", I had two down-hills to chose from. One took me home the short route, the other would add on a few more miles in the cold and dark February night .

I knew which way to go.

Kick@$$ Race Results!

Great weekend of 10 milers for BRC/Adi folks! All of our Marathon Trials qualifiers girls and guys came out from post-Trials race hibernation, but none of them have missed a beat during their short downtime. Ali, Wendy, Adrian, Tommy and Matt shook off the rust at the Pueblo Spring Runoff 10 Miler yesterday and they were joined by Sarah, Steph, Jay, Jason, and Robby.


It was a 1-2-3 hit for BRC's women as Ali, Wendy and Adrian took 1st through 3rd respectively in 59:00, 59:14 and 61:38. Steph and Sarah were 25th and 26th in 1:05 and 1:06.

For the gents, Matt led the way in 3rd in a loaded guys' field as he finished in 51:31. Robby was 5th in 52:17. Tommy is coming back around after a series of ups and downs and showed it with his 7th place finish in 53:12. In 10th and 11th were Jason and Jay with 54:21 and 54:28.

Next up for several of these people will be the Gate River Run (U.S. 15k Champs) next weekend while others will take to St. Patrick's day races around the state.
Great job everyone!!!